i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
