I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
