Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
