He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was confusing and full of hummus
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
