I want to stick my p in your. b.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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