It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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