"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
