i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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