We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
