she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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