So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
