we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
