And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
