im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
