You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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