I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
