I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
