So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
