Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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