I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
