no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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