What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
