Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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