I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
