i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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