Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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