Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Umm I'm too high to move.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
