he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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