girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
