Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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