she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
