Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
