While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
