we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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