Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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