You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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