I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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