You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
