marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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