Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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