It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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