I heard we made out
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
