shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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