I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
