why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
