It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There r osticjed everywhere
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
