I just saw a hot homeless man
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
