I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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