you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
