You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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