My Higher Power is John Stamos
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
