I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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