i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
