Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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