I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
