I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
