Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
