We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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