That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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