i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
