It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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