I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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