I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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