they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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