i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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